So I had a pretty shitty week, and as I was sitting the newspaper office at 7:56 in the morning counting down the seconds until I could go home even if it was only to shower, and come right back to campus to go to class, I started thinking about all the little things that make my life that much worse. Things that I don't notice on a regular day, but seem to think about and consequently get pissed off about on crappy days. Anyway, I decided to make a list of little things that piss me off, but that I only think about when I'm having a bad day.

1) Squirrel shit
Squirrels are everywhere on campus. In the trashcans, in the trees, on the sidewalks, on the buildings, everywhere. The only place I've yet to see a squirrel is at a party drinking out of the keg. And I'm sure they do that too. My question, then, is where is the shit? Squirrels have to shit, I mean, all mammals do. So where is all the squirrel shit? I've never been walking along and seen a little pile of squirrel turds lying on the sidewalk. I've never seen anyone irately scraping their feet in the grass mumbling "Stupid fucking squirrel shit all over the damn place." For that matter I've never seen anyone sitting under a tree, minding their own business, have a little turd fall and hit them on the head. So where, I ask, do they shit? It's been driving me crazy, and now I'm all paranoid about it. Every time I walk through the grass, I just know I'm trampling all over little mounds of their shit. Sneaky little fuckers.

2.) Cinnamon candy
So picture this: you're leaving a restaurant and you see a little dish of those red and white striped peppermints, and so you think to yourself, "Good deal, peppermints will help get rid of my stank onion/garlic/whatever breath." So you proceed to pick one up, unwrap it, and pop it in your mouth, only to almost choke when instead of minty freshness your tongue is assaulted by spicy cinnamon shit. Then you're standing there coughing like a geriatric, with watery eyes, and everyone starts patting you on the back and asking you if you're ok, while your asshole friends laugh and start imitating you clutching at your throat. All this because some ass-hole decided that it was a good idea to put out cinnamon candy. It's not even all cinnamon candies that I dislike, only the ones that try to pretend to be peppermint just to shock the shit out of people. Candy like Red-hots, don't pretend to be anything but cinnamon, so you're prepared for them. This is ok. My problem is with those poseur candies. Cinnamon candy canes are especially bad, because who the hell expects cinnamon candy canes? Candy canes are supposed to be peppermint. I hate that shit.

3.) Charging extra for McNugget sauce
Now I hadn't been to McDonald's in a while, but recently I went with a friend, and as we were waiting in the drive-thru I noticed a sign in the window. McDonald's has a apparently started a new policy in which they give you one packet of sauce per 6 chicken nuggets, 2 for 9 nuggets and 3 for anything more than that. If you want extra sauce, they charge ten cents per pack. How stupid is that? Those sauce things are only good for at most 2 nuggets. Not that I eat those deep-fried, over-processed, chicken-flavored, lard biscuits, but when I used to, I distinctly remember using four or five sauce packets per 6-pack of nuggets. Why be stingy, Mickey D's? I'm sure those things cost about a tenth of a cent each when bought in bulk. I mean WTF, mate?

Anyway, there are many other things that annoy the shit out of me, but I don't really feel like writing about them right now. Look for a Part II later.