Starting From Scratch

I've written about a million posts in my head over the past year, and I think at least 2/3 of them were composed during the last three months.

I'm no longer engaged.

Breaking off the relationship was hard. Ending the life we had started to plan together was the most painful thing I've ever done. By the time I got around to telling all of my family, friends and random people who I'd flashed my ring at, I was numb.

Somehow, somewhere between throwing out the tower of bridal magazines I'd collected over my year-long engagement, setting up a new place that's all my own, and planning for my first solo trip as a single woman, I realized I'd changed.

Things are still fresh and new. I think about him everyday. I think about how my life is different everyday. I hurt still.

I also think about how much lighter I feel, and how many opportunities are open to me now.

I don't know what's made me finally post here after years of declaring that I was going to start blogging again, especially considering that there's probably not anyone out there listening still anyway.

I think... I think that for me this is part of the healing process. I can't tell you exactly what I'll be writing about, and I won't promise that I'll write all the time (since clearly I fail at that repeatedly).

I guess I'm just using this as a way to start my life again.